Robin's Adventures at Burning Man, Part VI

(This is the sixth part of a multi-part series about the Burning Man Festival. To read this series from the beginning, please go here.)

by Robin Forman

The Mailman

Ten and ½ hours until my Playa Romance commences.
Three hours until they put the Man back up.
Two days until the Man burns.


Begrudgingly, I stumbled out of my tent wearing an outfit that seems the most out of style at Burning Man: cotton shorts and a North Face tank top. Sarah was sitting on one of the couches outside. Thank goodness. She looked like crap too. I plunked down next to her and tried to regain my will to live.

We were both trying to muster up the strength to go to various activities that didn’t involve drugs or alcohol. In fact, my choice was downright nerdy. I wanted to go to a lecture on the geology of the Black Rock Desert. Who goes to a geology lecture in the middle of a week long party?

The answer: Me and the Mailman.

“Mail Call!” shouted a very attractive, very shirtless 20-something. “Is there a ‘Robin’ here?”

I looked up at the sky and thanked Zeus for Adonis and his ancestors.

“That would be me,” I said and got my postcard which was from Chris and the Voodoo Space Patrol boys expressing their longing for my company.

What can I say? I’m a catch.

“Welp, I gotta go,” the Mailman said. “Got a geology lecture to go to.”

Zeus, you sly fox!

So the Mailman and I set off to the Earth Guardians’ camp where the lecture was scheduled to be held. However, the lecture had been moved to Friday. The Mailman and I agreed to meet Friday for the lecture and we decided that, rescheduled lecture aside, we would explore some of Black Rock City together. It was when we were standing outside of the Costco Soulmate Exchange (that's where you can trade in your soulmate for a new one) and we had both filled out our soul forms when I noticed that we had written the same thing about each other: “Good Vibe.” Why the hell was I filling out a form to find a soulmate when he was standing right next to me?

A waffle, a mimosa, a snow cone, a pair of the Mailman’s socks (Borrowed because I wasn’t wearing any: get your head out of the gutter!) and seven hours later I parted ways with the Mailman to go find my Voodoo Space Patrol friends. I was school-girl giddy. “This is it!” I thought. “He’s my Playa Romance!”

However, there are several things you need to understand at this point:

1) In the default world —meaning the regular world outside of Burning Man — I am somewhat of a frigid bitch when it comes to relationships and they are something from which I generally abstain.

2) A Playa Romance refers to the Playa, which is what the open desert is called at Burning Man, and the romance part is the super-intense-year-long-relationship you cram into anywhere between one and three days.

3) Everything that happens at Burning Man is about timing and feelings. And sometimes those are not always in synch.

So it was that one shared geology lecture later the Mailman and I parted ways as merely friends. Somehow, I could not bring myself to get attached to this adorable Mailman with his chiseled body and sandy and appealingly unruly hair. He was not my Playa Romance. Although, he will always have a place in my heart. And ladies, if you had met him he would have a place in your heart, or perhaps in your bed, too.

It turns out that the furry man who holds you as your world literally burns in front of you is the Playa Romance you should seek.

(To read the preceding part, please go here. To read the next part, please go here.)

(The photo of the Mailman on the Playa is courtesy of Robin Forman. To see a CBC report on Burning Man done via bike, please check below. Also, please note, the CBC report would be R-rated in the U.S.)

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